I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
