We're like a lot better than the average bears
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They have beer where we have blood.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
