Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
