You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
