So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
