You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You are a genius and a whore.
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