Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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