My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
