like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
