Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
