I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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