i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
