put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
