Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize