My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
