I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So vagazzling was a success
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
