I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
