First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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