My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
