Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
