hotel room ftw
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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