i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
