haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
