There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
