Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
