Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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