before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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