Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
