Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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