That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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