I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
