Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize