so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
