You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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