Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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