Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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