This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
