they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
love makes seman taste better
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
