i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
no, he came in my armpit
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
