Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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