your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
