sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
