just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
