Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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