so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize