Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
