my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
