Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
