Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
