She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize