piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
