There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
