It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
