Non-Jews are for practice
smell my finger.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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