So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize