She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
