the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
