so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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