Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
