my mouth tastes like poor choices
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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